Well. We're back in the saddle, so to say. Officially trying to conceive baby #2. I'm armed and ready.
|yes, that is an obscene amount of ovulation & pregnancy tests.|
I apparently like to pee on things. I'm one of those obnoxious early testers, so I stocked up.
If I'm being honest, I'm a bit dreading being pregnant again. I'm not even referring to my recent miscarriage or anything. Although, in the back of my mind, I am terrified of another loss. I'm just really content and happy with how our life is going right now. Things are finally easy. As much as I adored the newborn days, Lincoln was far from an easy baby. Jared and I joke about how high maintenance he was, and that our next child certainly couldn't top him! Lincoln is now a great, crazy, happy kid. It's pretty awesome. He is awesome. And SO much fun!!
Adding a baby will totally change our family dynamic, and that's a pretty scary thing.
I have some guilt about adding another child to our family, and the time it will take away from my sweet Lincoln. I know, I know, every parent feels this way, and it's all normal thoughts, but they're still there.
Don't get me wrong, I truly do want another child. I want Lincoln to have a sibling. I want him to have that bond with his little brother or sister. I want to snuggle up with our sweet newborn. I want to rock him or her to sleep. I want to experience all those milestones again.
It's just the "getting there" that's the hard part.
But we will get there. In time. So for now, we just keep on keepin' on.
Because that's all we really can do.