When you have to parent your parents | The Momma Diaries

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

When you have to parent your parents

Let me start off by saying, we did enjoy our time in Florida with my Dad. 

Okay, now that I said that, let me tell you about how I had to parent my father. 

As you know, my Dad is now recovering from his liver transplant.  When we visited him, he was two weeks post surgery.  I knew my Dad would obviously be weak, but I had no idea that he would be so freaking obstinate, stubborn, and sometimes just downright mean!

My Dad had major surgery.  And with major surgery, comes a pretty intense recovery process.  Of course this includes exercising, and healthy eating habits. 

A side effect of one of the medications he's taking, causes you to have no taste.  The doctors have assured him that this is just a temporary side effect, and will eventually go away.  My Dad doesn't seem to understand that he NEEDS to eat....you know, more than one graham cracker for breakfast, or a pudding for lunch. 

As much as I complain about Lincoln being a picky eater, this was nothing compared to my dad. 

My dad is 5'10" and currently he weighs 147 pounds.  That is not okay. 

While I was there, I was doing everything I could to get him to eat as much as possible.  This included making him smoothies and sneaking stuff inside of them.  If I told him what I was putting into his smoothie, there's no way he would have drank it. 

Now let's get to exercising.  He would seriously be content sitting in his recliner and laying in bed all day.  He was complaining about his back being sore.  I told him numerous amounts of times that ANYONE'S back would be sore if they just sat in a chair or laid in bed all day.  I practically had to force him to go for walks. 

Don't even get me started with his physical therapy.  That was next to impossible to get him to do something, unless the therapists were there themselves.

He keeps saying "we have no idea how tired he is, and how he feels."  Which, yes, he's right.  However, I don't think he understands how much his transplant affects our family.  We went through this with him too!  And for him to not try?  That is just frustrating beyond words. 

I really hope he starts getting his act together, or he'll probably end up back in the hospital, or a rehabilitation center.  Which, in all honesty, maybe that's what he needs.

I just want to shake him and say, "Do you know how lucky you are?!  You get to LIVE!!  Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and start acting appreciative!!" 

That may sound harsh, but I just don't know what to do...


  1. I'm sorry hun, that is def a difficult spot for you. Sending positive thoughts your way that he snaps out of it soon. Hugs

  2. Difficult times ... hang in there.
    Where in FL btw

  3. It sounds to me like he may be depressed, which is not uncommon after a major life-changing surgery like that. I would talk to him or his doctors if you have that connection to have them see about starting him on some meds. No doubt going through all of this has taken a toll on him mentally as well, and there is no shame in getting help for that!


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