Anxiety & Panic Disorder | The Momma Diaries

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Anxiety & Panic Disorder

Warning: This is going to be another deep post.

I've had panic attacks for as long as I can remember. When I was 19 years old, however, that's when they were at their all time worst. I had to take a leave of absence from work, I seriously could not leave the house....and even being home in my "safe" environment, I still had attacks. I knew I couldn't continue to live like this, so I contacted my general practitioner. She prescribed me medication to help me deal with my panic disorder, and I've been on it ever since.

I am now 29. This was 10 years ago. The anxiety never completely went away. It was always like a little cloud that has hung over me. I've had ups and downs with dealing with it. Miraculously enough, when I was pregnant with Lincoln, I can honestly say I was 100% panic free. For the first time in my life, I didn't have any anxiety.

Lately, I've been having trouble again. Sometimes it's been really out of control, and it's scary. I've finally figured it's time to see a therapist who specializes in anxiety and panic disorder. Today, I took the first step and emailed three potential people. I already received a phone call back from one of them, and I have a scheduled appointment in a couple of weeks. I can't get in sooner because of Jared's schedule right now, and I really don't want to bring Lincoln with me. 

So, there you have it. I really sounded like a train wreck when I was on the phone talking to her earlier. She asked me some questions, so I told her about having Osteogenesis Imperfecta, and my history with panic disorder. I told her how Jared was in the Police Academy for six month, and that my Dad needs a liver transplant. While I was saying all of this out loud, I thought to myself, "geez, no wonder you're a mess!"

I am taking the first step. I need to do this for me, and my family.


  1. I had my first panic attack in college - scared the shit out of me! I thought I was having a heart attack or something. Scary. I really hope this helps you. I too take medication for stress/anxiety (and now PPD). It truly made a huge difference in my life, but sometimes it's not everything. I'm glad you're gonna talk to someone. Good luck!

  2. Good for you! Let us know how it turns out!

  3. Good luck hun. Taking the first step is the most important thing.


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