The Momma Diaries: January 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Research...and some good news!

I called my surgeon's office yesterday morning and they placed me on the "wait list." They'll call me if they get any cancellations before my appointment. I've been doing a TON of research and found something that said only 20% of nodules that showed "suspicious" in the biopsy, came back actually being cancer. So, I'm hoping that's my case. Last night I went on youtube and seached for "thyroidectomy." HA! I got EXACTLY what I was looking for. There are literally oodles of videos of surgeons performing thyroidectomies. Honestly it really didn't bother me to watch it. The part that terrifies me the most is being put under the anestesia. Although I've done it before, and have always been okay with it afterwards, I just don't like that whole process. Anyways, the other thing that my search revealed were these video blogs of actual people who have had the surgery...those were interesting! Everyone seems to have a positive story, which of course is very reassuring...but, I still don't like it! Jared keeps telling me to lay off the researching, but I really can't seem to stop! It's right here readily available at my can I stop?!

Some good brother inlaw called me the other day and asked me to start looking for good deals on flights in March. He's planning on visiting for a week with our niece and nephew! I am psyched about this! I miss those kids so much! I talked to my nephew on the phone a couple weeks ago (he's 5) and he said "I love you Aunt Kami," and I said "I love you too buddy." ...he then says "I love you more!" Totally melted my heart...He's so sweet! And our niece is just the sweetest little girl ever. She will just come and sit on my lap to cuddle up with me. Jared and I cannot wait to see them again!

Here are a few pictures taken last year of them...

Sunday, January 25, 2009

The Icing on the Cake...

Well, I got my period yesterday morning - Boooo! Looks like we'll be putting TTC on hold until after my thyroidectomy. I am going to call the surgeon's office tomorrow morning and see if they can call me if they get any openings before February 12th for a consult...I just want to get this thing over with. I've been doing some heavy research with my friend google, and supposedly only 20% of "suspicious" nodules removed end up being cancer. I keep telling myself that even if it is cancer it is 100% curable...but I still don't like that word! Anyways, while I was doing research with my new BFF google, I did read that if the nodule is not cancer then you do not have to take the radioactive iodine pill. The way my endocrinologist was talking the other day, it sounded like I would take the pill regardless. However, if I take the pill it's advised to wait 6 months to TTC. When I meet with the surgeon I need to discuss this with him. I don't know if having the internet at my hands so easily for research is a good thing or are able to find so much information and your brain starts thinking all sorts of things that I suppose you wouldn't even be thinking of. But, obviously I can't stop myself from researching like crazy! Ugh!

Friday, January 23, 2009

I Have a Case of Bad Luck

Well, my results from my thyroid nodule biopsy were not what I was hoping for. The results came up suspicious for papillary carcinoma. My Endocrinologist advised that I have a complete thyroidectomy. He did tell me that although I have suspicious cells and have to have them removed, my prognosis is good...if that makes any sense. Next, I asked him what we were to do if I as pregnant, as there is a possibility that I might be. He told me if that was the case they would do the surgery in the second trimester. He wouldn't want it done in the first tri because the risk of spontaneous miscarriage. In the third tri, there is a risk of preterm labor. And, he wouldn't want to wait until after the pregnancy, because he said pregnancy affects your thyroid hormone levels to begin with. I asked him if it would be a problem if we had to wait those few months for me to be in the second tri and he said "absolutely not"...which was a relief. I have my consult with the surgeon on February 12. I am anxious to see what he said regarding the procedure. The endocrinologist told me I would have to spend a night in the hospital and the process is relatively an easy recovery. I am slightly relieved to at least know what is going on with my body...but I wish my results came back better! I will keep you all updated on this whole process.

On another note....many of you may not know, but I have Osteogenesis Imperfecta. In simple terms it means "brittle bones." I have type 1, which is considered a mild case. Any children Jared and I have has a 50% chance of inheriting my condition. We have talked about this in depth many of times and have both agreed that we would be okay with raising a baby with OI. Don't get me wrong, I would be so ecstatic if our baby didn't have my gene, but at the same time, I think I would be the best person to have a baby with OI, having the condition myself. Our child would only be able to inherit my type 1 gene, which is also a good thing. The way I look at it is, I had a wonderful childhood, granted I broke a few bones along the way, but I was a very very happy kid. I love my life now and wouldn't change it for the world...well maybe the part where they have to slice open my throat to remove my thyroid ;) Any baby we have with or without OI will be loved and we will give that child the best life that he/she can have.

So, today after I told my Father inlaw about my prognosis regarding my thyroid...I told him that if I was pregnant they would wait to do the surgery until second tri. He said to me, "you're playing with high odds" (meaning the 50% chance that I will pass my gene on to our baby). He then said "you need to think of what's fair for a child." I was flabbergasted! I didn't say much, because really, what could I say?! Seriously, for me to be in this world, I either had to have OI, or there would be no Kami. If we have a baby with OI, would we want to trade him in for one that didn't have OI? The answer would be "no." That wouldn't be "our" baby that we were meant to have. Some people really need to think before they open their mouths. Our decision does not affect him at all. It is a decision that only Jared and I can make because it's our life, not his or anyone else's. I haven't told Jared yet about his father's little comment because he's outside working on our house, but I do plan on it!

Well, I think I've blogged enough for one much new info to share! I'm honestly praying I'm pregnant right now. I think in a way it would help me deal with all of the crazy things happening in my life. I don't know if that sounds selfish or not...but it's true.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Time is dragging....

I want it to be Friday morning at 10am right this instant! I am relatively a patient person, but right now I just want my damn results from my biopsy on Monday. I want the verdict. I want to know what I'm in for. I really just want to know that every thing's okay! The wait is torturous for myself, but I think even more so for Jared. My poor hubby hasn't been sleeping at all. I know it's because he's worried and I wish there was something I could do. I will definitely write tomorrow to update all of you!

I have also come to the realization that I have seriously slacked on posting pictures of our house building adventures. I have yet to take a picture since they put the windows in and shingled the roof! I will have to get on that because there's been some major progress. I sooooo cannot wait!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Two Days in a Row!

I am on a blog first ever two consecutive posts...woot woot! Jared got laid off from his job last week...boooo to the economy, BUT, it's not terrible news. He more than likely will be going back in April, and that just means our house will get built that much faster...which is a major plus! If it means less time living with the inlaws, it's a-okay with me!

Anyways, I wanted tell everyone about our exciting trip to Raymour and Flanigan the other day. Jared and I found our sectional for our living room. It's so so nice! This is what it looks like, but the picture really doesn't do it any justice...

It's a 5 piece sectional and has 4 recliners. The color is graphite and it's made of microfiber. I am in love! Although we won't be ordering it for a couple of months, it's nice to know that we have one more thing checked off our list! I am so anxious to get into our house. We've been living with Jared's parents for almost one whole year. I'm ready.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

I will not be that girl...

I don't want to be that girl. The one that complains about all her ailments and problems in her blog...but lately, I seriously need a freakin' break! We all know I miscarried last month very early in my pregnancy (4 weeks 5 days), I'm dealing with this very well, at least I think so. Jared and I are already trying again and hoping for the best this cycle. I've heard you are more fertile your first three months after miscarrying. We will be elated if we get pregnant right away, if not, we'll manage. It will happen for us, that I am sure of.

On another note, when I had my physical last month the doctor found a nodule on my thyroid. Last week I went for an ultrasound and yesterday had my follow-up appointment. He said nodules are very common and many people don't even know they have them. Mine is relatively small he said (2cm). He took a biopsy of the cells and I go back Friday for the results. More than likely I'll have to go back every 6 months so he can monitor it and make sure it doesn't grow. He also had me go for bloodwork to test my thyroid levels because my pulse was high...I personally think it was just because I was super nervous, but I like that he was being proactive.

So now I have to wait until Friday. I'm not going to lie, Jared is freaking out thinking the worst. Even if it's the worst, cancer (cringe!), it's 100% curable. And there's a very very slim chance that that's what it even is. So right now I'm being the strong one, for my husband. I told him Friday after my appointment we'll go out for ice cream to celebrate the good news! He just keeps telling me "it's not fair, that I don't deserve this." Seriously, I know this...I have been through way too much in my life to even add on something like this. But, I am not that girl. I am strong, and always optimistic, and I will continue to be this way. Whatever curves life throws at us, I will always be strong. I have to be.

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