The Longest Week | The Momma Diaries

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

The Longest Week

I officially stink at updating my blog. Let me start off by saying this past week has been one of the happiest turned saddest weeks of my life. This was mine and Jared’s first month “officially” TTC. I started charting the previous month to get used of the whole thing and never imagined we would get pregnant so quickly. We tested on December 19 and could not believe that it said “pregnant!” We were so so thrilled. I immediately called my doctor to try to get an appointment right away. I was told they could see me on Tuesday, December 23rd. I was really happy about getting in so early because we wanted to tell our families on Christmas.

Tuesday arrived faster than I thought it would. Since Jared had to work, my best friend since I was 5 years old went with me to my first appointment. The doctor I saw didn’t start off with a good impression. I had never seen him before and when he walked into the room his first response was, “do I have the right room?” Hmm…I was a little surprised by his greeting, but blew it off. He examined me, asked me a million questions, and sent me to the lab for 8 vials of blood to be drawn. He told me I wouldn’t have my first ultrasound until I was 13 weeks and my next appointment wasn’t until February 9th. I really wanted to have an ultrasound sooner than that, but just figured that’s how they did things so I didn’t question it.

Jared came up with the cutest way to tell our parents on Christmas. We got them Christmas cards and on the inside wrote “You have one more present, expect it to arrive in August!” And we attached a cute sticker of a stork. His parents were the first to find out, they were very happy….although, it took my father in-law a second to realize that I was pregnant. We then drove to my parents house 2 hours away in Rhode Island. I was very anxious during the drive because I knew how excited they would be about their first grandchild! I also knew my brother would be thrilled about expecting a little niece or nephew. We opened presents with my parents and saved the best for last. My mom opened the card and immediately started crying, and then so didn’t my father. My brother ran to get a box of tissues for everyone. It was a sweet moment. The rest of the day was pretty relaxing and we did a lot of “baby talk.” My brother kept telling me things I should eat and whatnot. My mom was trying to figure out if she wanted to be called “Memere or Grammy.” We spent the night at my parents house looking forward to spending the next day there.

The next morning I woke up to a nightmare. I was bleeding and it was messy. I called my doctors office right away and they told me to come in. The drive from Rhode Island to UCONN took forever, we were an hour and a half away. I was really nervous. They took me as soon as I got there. The doctor came into the room and immediately Jared and I liked him, he actually took the time to read my chart before walking into the room. He checked my cervix and said it was closed, that made us hopeful! Then he brought in the ultrasound machine. He did the ultrasound, but the only thing he could make out was the beginning of a gestational sac…there should have been more than that as I was 4 week 5 days along. He asked if the doctor I saw on Tuesday did an ultrasound and I said “no.” He told me he was going to run another pregnancy test and for me to get dressed. As soon as he walked into the room I knew the news wasn’t good. I remember him saying “there’s no easy way to say this…” and then he told me I was miscarrying. He explained that I was pregnant for a second and had the other doctor done an ultrasound he would have been able to confirm this on Tuesday. I was upset of course, but more than anything I was angry. Had we found out earlier we would have been able to save our families from this heartache. He told me we could start TTC immediately if we wanted because I wasn’t far along. It really doesn't even feel like I was pregnant at all. It was so short lived and just for one short week. But when I think about it, I know that I was indeed pregnant and it makes me sad to know that it didn't work out.

Let me just say how amazing my husband is. He has taken such great care of me these past few days that I don’t know what I would have done without him. I truly have married the most incredible man ever and consider myself so lucky to be his wife. We are planning on trying right away again. I have been reading that you are more fertile the first three months after you miscarry. So, here’s to hoping for a fast BFP for 2009….and for a sticky little baby this time.

4 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear this. I too had a chemical pregnancy before and I know how hard it is. I remember feeling stupid about how sad I was considering I only knew I was pregnant for 5 days before my baby was gone, but let me tell you It's not stupid. I can only tell you to let yourself greave. GL and God Bless

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that you're taking it easy. Good luck and happy New Year!

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  3. Oh Kami! This is such a happy and then sad story! I am glad to know you both are healthy and able to conceive and will be praying for this. I have been there twice, I understand, I am willing to talk and am here.

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot even begin to imagine your pain but I am praying that God heals your pain and blesses you soon.

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